Going through with our efforts to improve ourselves on daily basis, and going through our entire life actually, we are likely to come across myriad of obstacles that will partially or entirely threaten our progress, even disrupt our life to some extent.
And when you think about it, there is nothing that can be done in order to completely exonerate ourselves from such obstacles, even the ones hindering our improvement a great deal.
Sometimes things are the way they are. What we can do though, is choose the way in which we react to such obstacles, and decide whether to stop complaining and do something about it, or complain and become a victim.
Why it’s so hard to stop complaining?
Living in a complex set of rules, society expectations and countless of obligations put on our shoulders, it’s no wonder that often times we face problems down the road that seem hard to fix at first sight.
Most of us, unfamiliar with some of those obstacles, unable to find a quick response, chose to act like a victim and start complaining, feeling that in a way we are indeed doing something to overcome the problem itself.
And being creatures of comfort, as I like to say, tending to procrastinate, it becomes logical that complaining leaves us with the feeling that we are doing something to change our position, but at the same time doesn’t require from us an immediate action.
And once we start to complain, we are doomed to repeat the process, where we identify ourselves with being the victim, and such identification is threatening our improvement in general till we learn how to stop complaining and start doing something about it.
Bottom line is, we feel better on the short run after complaining and assuming victim identification. That way, we escape the need of doing something to overcome the problem, and stay in our comfort zone by being delusional to a slight extent that we are actually doing something.
Stop complaining by becoming aware of negative thinking
The truth is, complaining doesn’t occur just by itself. We are, in a way, inviting it with negative thinking. And negativity is a habit of our unconscious mind that was developed over time.
Negative thinking can be overcome by changing our perception towards things. And it usually goes by starting to accept things more objectively, while allowing them to be labeled as good or bad in our head.
Only by not trying to fight negativity on a large scale can we overcome it.
You see, the thing is to point ourselves as observers to negative thoughts. Not trying to fight them but let them be, while not identifying with them a tiny bit.
By trying to fight them you are, in fact, giving them undivided attention, and they become more solid, more real.
Letting them be, on the other hand, puts them in a position of trespassers, the mind quickly learns not to pay attention to them and they become reduced in size and numbers.
Stop complaining by realizing your power
Ask anybody who doesn’t seem to stop complaining, if he believes that he is in charge with his own life. You will be surprised to find out that there will always be an excuse.
The thing is, the way I see it, that we are not fully aware of our power. And even if we are, we are then even more afraid of that fact, that we become passive and afraid to take things in our hands.
Realizing that we are the ones who decide what our life will be like, makes us afraid, so we enter in the pattern of negative thinking, trying to convince ourselves that it’s not up to us at all.
Or, to paraphrase things – we are, in fact, afraid of responsibility over our own lives.
So, we desperately try to convince ourselves that there is something else that deprives us from taking full control over it.
And the easiest way to convince ourselves to that is to whine and complain about how things are not the way we like them to be, and that it’s never up to us.
The moment we start perceiving ourselves as the ones who are in charge with our lives, is the moment we stop complaining and start recognizing those negative thoughts for what they are – the real obstacle.
How to stop complaining?
Perception is one thing, but making a new habit in order to replace the old one is a bit more demanding task.
However, changing your perception is the start, and it plays a crucial part of the new picture you are about to paint.
For starters, learn how to recognize and value everything that you do in order to be in charge with your own life.
If you ask yourself how this will give you the answer on how to stop complaining, it’s simple, really. Witnessing more and more examples where you prove that you are in charge will make it easier to convince yourself that there is always something to be done in order to change you current position.
- Further convince yourself that you are in charge by giving yourself reasonable goals that you want to accomplish.
Try changing your diet.
Try waking up early.
Try attracting certain people into your life.
- A similar thing you can do in relation to the previous one is to start dealing with problems and fears that you have, but never took the time or courage to face or resolve them.
On the very start, begin with smaller, less complex problems as to give yourself the confidence and build a momentum. Then as the time progresses try dealing with more complex worries that are bothering you, and try facing some of your fears.
You don’t even have to win the challenges at first – it’s doing something rather than complaining that will change your mental attitude towards things.
You will no longer assume the position of a victim, but instead begin to understand that you are in charge.
- What is surrounding us plays a big role in the way we identify ourselves. If everyone around you is complaining about things, and if you are surrounded with things that try to convince you that the world is like this or like that, then you are bound to this group and share their approach towards problems.
“Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and the thinkers, but most of all surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.” ~ Edmund Lee (tweet this)
Similar to that, if you are surrounded by people and mental food in the form of a written word that suggests that everyone is responsible for their problems, and we must all work in order to resolve them, then your outlook on live will be quite more different.
Stop complaining quotes
Here are some quotes that will help you change your perception even more towards complaining:
“Don’t find fault, find a remedy; anybody can complain.” – Henry Ford (tweet this)
“You don’t make progress by standing on the sidelines, whimpering and complaining. You make progress by implementing ideas.” – Shirley Hufstedler (tweet this)
“When a person finds themselves predisposed to complaining about how little they are regarded by others, let them reflect how little they have contributed to the happiness of others.” – Samuel Johnson
“It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.” – Confucius (tweet this)
“Stop being sick and tired of being sick and tired”- Les Brown
In order to learn how to stop complaining we must assume control over our own lives, and abandon the mindset of a victim.
Only by doing so, we can stop being sick and tired of being sick and tired, and stop complaining while finally taking responsibility and doing something instead.
It’s up to us to choose how we will react to things and how we will conduct ourselves through our lives.