Dealing with criticism is something all of us have to learn from time to time, and knowing how to deal with criticism is a great trait that everyone wants to possess.
But wanting to be accepted and having that approval seeking syndrome is part of all of us I guess. We always think how the people we know, and to an extent society in general, will react to the things we do, say, put out there on the line.
And there are times when our actions, or we as a whole, are being criticized, not accepted, and sometimes even devalued. When such times come, we feel quite awful and sometimes go even deeper by accepting the criticism as our limitation of some kind, hindering the logic from resonating within us.
When criticism is dangerous?
It is in our understanding that by being criticized, we are allowed, and subtly asked to grow, change ourselves for better, change the actions as an outcome of our misconceptions. And being put that way it makes sense, so we are better to accept it as it is, right?
Here is the problem though, every once and a while the main intention of the critic sent in our direction doesn’t match the description above.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but there are times when the criticism is a result of someone else’s misconceptions, or even worse someone’s bad intention.
If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it.
When being criticized by someone who is clearly wrong, the harm done by the critic is not that big. However, when being criticized as a result of someone’s bad intention it is best for us to understand it, and learn how to respond.
People sometimes criticize because they find pleasure in it, other times in order to sleep better at night thinking their way is the right way. Sometimes the reason is personal gain, when they try to devaluate what you do or say, in order for them to appoint themselves as someone who “knows”.
Dealing with criticism is crucial for your wellbeing in both cases. When the intention is good, you must learn to recognize it, and act upon the criticism in order to witness change and therefore improvement.
However, you must also recognize when the intention of the critic is bad, and learn how to deal with criticism in those situations.
Recognize the source of the critic
It is very important to understand that every criticism has some value in term of source.
Who sent you that criticism? How is he right to know? Why listen to that person?
The thing is that you can weigh the criticism a lot by its source. If a friend of yours is making the criticism, then of course it has more value and weight to it than someone who enjoys provoking you for example.
Also think about why you should accept that criticism and act upon it. Is the person right in his opinion? Is he some kind of authority in what he says?
Dealing with criticism is done after you recognize the weight and intention of the critic.
10 Tips for dealing with criticism
- If you recognize that someone just wants to strengthen his claims in order to sleep better at night by criticizing you and your ways, then learn not to take that by hearth.
- If you can see way down the road that the person who criticize you has something to gain from doing so, then by all means don’t bother at all with the critic.
I once felt very bad after submitting one of my articles to a forum where one guy criticized over and over again. Then I come to understand that he was doing so with many other articles as well, just for him to promote his own in a better light. And that’s just sad. After that I never ever took his critics seriously any more.
- If the critic is there just to provoke something in you like anger for example, then learn to calm down and disregard what is being said.
- Learn to deal with criticism by preparing yourself to grow and change. If a man is prepared to modify whatever he does in order to improve it, then he sees on critics as something of great value. Put it that way, and you will enjoy taking the most out of critics, instead of dreading them.
- Dealing with criticism with dignity is a trait. Remember that whenever you lose your temper.
- Admitting the mistake and accepting the criticism improves you a great deal. If every good intended critic that is right changes something in you for the better, then you will grow each time you embrace it.
- Never criticize for the wrong reasons. That way you will be more likely to recognize when such criticism are sent in your direction. In order to understand critic when you are on the receiving end, try to give criticism for the purpose of pointing out that improvement is necessary.
- Criticize others only if you know the right answer, and the right way, otherwise restrain yourself. In that same manner accept criticism only if the right answers are known to those who criticize, otherwise disregard them.
- Face the fact that criticism is always going to be there no matter how good you do things, or no matter how much you improve. Learning what you can from it while not taking by hearth the rest, is better for you to start sooner than later.
- Remember your qualities each time your self-confidence takes a beating from a critic. Never let the criticism become your reality, and limit you in any way. Be more self-aware, and you will see that not only critics are now fairly innocuous to your self-confidence, but it increases by dealing with criticism the right way.
Dealing with criticism is often times hard for us, but learning more how to understand critics will give us the upper hand. Apply some of these tips, and you will know better how to deal with criticism.
Feel free to add some of your thoughts regarding this in the comment section below, and think about when was the last time you were given a criticism, and how you responded to it.